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Razer
|image = Image:razerscreen.jpg |imagewidth = 290 |caption = So gay he can't even think straight. |Row 1 title = Nicknames |Row 1 info = None that he won't hurt you for. |Row 2 title = Gender |Row 2 info = Male |Row 3 title = Age |Row 3 info = 31 |Row 4 title = DoB |Row 4 info = December 10 |Row 5 title = Species |Row 5 info = Elf (Precurian) |Row 6 title = Languages |Row 6 info = Common |Row 7 title = Room |Row 7 info = 2388 (Deck 11) |Row 8 title = Canon |Row 8 info = Jak and Daxter |Row 9 title = Journal |Row 9 info = switch on your nitrous and--let's--go |Row 10 title = Mun |Row 10 info = Nashi }} ...People talk about “flaming” and “fruity” when they don’t feel like speaking up. But this is Kras City’s legendary Razer, and for him you'd better tweak the issue a bit. Let's say, oh...a fruit basket flung into the sun. -- [http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2743617/1/ Weiila's "The Diplomat"] '' '' Information Background :Razer is listed as the top lieutenant to Mizo, his world's most powerful crime boss, and known as the greatest racer in his hometown of Kras City. It isn't known how long he's been working the criminal overworld, but judging by his rank it's presumable he's been at it for a number of years. His first love, however, is and will likely always be racing, although until quite recently he was retired and working exclusively in the criminal business. The reasons for his retirement are unknown, but given his age, skill, and personality, it was more than likely due to massive boredom with the underwhelming competition. :Just a few weeks before his impromptu relocation, Razer returned to active racing in an attempt to kick Jak's ass. He also failed. Not hardcore, mind you, it was close, but a failure is a failure and requires punishment of some form or another. Canonically he disappears following his defeat, leaving it unclear as to whether he simply went back into retirement after the Blue Eco Cup or got himself killed somehow, either by an opponent on the track or by his own employer, who did drop a rather specific (if seemingly innocuous) threat during one very public interview. Personality :A bit of a perfectionist and a big fan of breaking things, Razer is a walking contradiction in terms. He's also a homotastic douchebag who probably wants to sleep with your brother. And maybe your father, he's not picky about ages. He hates failing at anything, thrives on attention, loves riling people up and will fuck your shit up if you ever call him a fag. Even though the one thing he loves almost as much as racing are things related to fashion, so the insult might not be too far off given the vernacular definition. :Razer is the kind of man who enjoys the finer things in life as much as he likes breaking them into little tiny pieces. He is not, however, the amoral psychopath that his Havenite counterpart, Erol, so clearly is. Razer is a gentleman; smooth, educated, as well-spoken as he is dressed, and unlike many people in his business he has retained a couple points of distorted moral high ground. First, he doesn't approve of cheating in races, or anywhere it can be avoided. The reasoning behind this is rather arrogant (he's too good to have to cheat in most cases and he knows it) but it's accurate enough that there really isn't much anyone can say about it. Secondly, he finds things like rape to be extremely distasteful, and although he has slept with more than his fair share of barely-willing partners, it's the "barely" that makes it all right. Yes, this is hypocritical. No, he doesn't care. :Anything else he'll do, and probably has done more than once. He's been in this business a very long time. Appearance :Razer is one of the taller characters in his series, topping out somewhere between 6'2" and 6'4" (he's listed as being 6'2" in his in-game profile, but the height difference between him and other characters makes it obvious that this is slightly ''off), with a muscular build to match. His skin is extremely pale, his hair is jet black and his eyes are bright green; canonically the only actual skin you ever see on him is from the neck up, the rest being completely concealed by his very stylish clothing. :However, considering he's a high-ranking member of Mizo's gang, it's generally assumed that he does have some ink somewhere on his body. In line with this, the version featured on the Elegante has a sienna-on-black flame tattoo from his wrist to his elbow on either arm. These are usually covered with his jacket and gloves, considering they ruin the air of absolute perfection Razer takes such great pride in. : Elegante September 2009 *'14:' Razer has a highly eventful first day on the boat! He unintentionally fucks with Ashelin's head, politely lets Zelda know that her poetry sucks, gets tacklehugged by Lily, has a date with Erol (which leads to rough quickie sex, big surprise), one with Jak, and reacquaints himself with Daxter. He also decides that this ship is fantastic. *'19: Having spent a few days reconciling all the info Lily gave him, Razer decides it's time to tell the ship how bored he is. He also plays a good game of Messing With Princess Zelda, which is turning out to be one of his favorite things to do. *'''21: Razer complains some more, and tells Erol to clip his damn fingernails. He also talks with Ani, meets Karis, and networks Amaria and Lily. Isn't he industrious? *'28: '''Razer has a frog. Razer doesn't like small animals. Anyone want to trade something for it? October 2009 *'07:' Obligatory Jakiverse Character Doesn't Get Christianity post. So what if Razer and his entire world were created by creatures like Daxter? That's totally different, shut up. *'12: Christine is working the cafe, where Razer stops in for coffee. He finds her delusions hilarious. Erol will never hear the end of this. *'13: '''Razer admits to missing Shiv. Through this, he gets acquainted with Kleiver and and all but outright tells Zelda that he and his variation of Jak were sleeping together. No, this isn't even remotely true. *'14: Jak is freaking out, Razer is concerned. Once things settle down, though, they do meet for drinks at the Oceanview Bar. Progress! *'16:' A new addition to the boat causes Razer to FLIP HIS SHIT. Looks like playtime is over. Relationships Canonmates *Jak: Beat Razer in the Blue Eco Grand Prix, but is still one fine piece of ass. Easily confused, thankfully, Razer is determined to make Jak believe they're some form of friends, if only to make him comfortable and then rip it all out from under him later. *GT Blitz: Secretly Razer's boss, Mizo. Razer has an insane amount of respect for this man, and is also more than a little scared of him. He does know how to spin things just right to stay out of trouble, for the most part, and is well-aware that he's Mizo's favorite, so he pushes the envelope with him a little more than he should. He's also slept with the guy at least twice, and it was awesome. *Ashelin Praxis: Stupid bitch, but a decent racer. It pains Razer to admit this. Not as smart as she thinks she is, and younger on the boat than he knew her as. Possibly more prone to manipulation. *Erol: Razer's Haven City counterpart. As Razer has always been impressed with Erol's racing, there are no complaints over him somehow being back from the dead. He's also a damn good fuck, and already one of Razer's favorite people ever. However, his supposed attachment to a girl like Christine is hilarious, and Razer will be taunting him about it eventually. *Daxter: Annoying rat thing. Tells a good story, but is too loud to get many points for it. When Jak was under the impression that Ace had killed Daxter, Razer was sincerely amused. He was also disappointed to find this wasn't true. They just don't get along. *Baron Praxis: Though Razer's never spoken to him, his opinion of the Baron is that he's too stiff and needs to let Erol off his leash now and then. Good taste in tattoos, though. *Kleiver: Ugly, quite possibly stupid, but actually not on Razer's dislike list. If anything, he has a slightly-less-than-grudging respect for the guy, simply because he knows his racing is good and that's the best way to do well by Razer. Other Characters *Fred Cassidy: Not really helpful, but not annoying yet. He gets the neutral stamp. *Mimmi Kopanski: Almost entirely unhelpful. *Rfena: Kind of stupid, but not maddeningly so. Also gets the neutral stamp. *Lily: Crazy little girl with a habit of screaming like a crazy little girl. Informationally useful and oddly endearing. Connected to a great deal of the people on the ship, she's good for networking and Razer fully intends to take advantage of this little quirk however possible. *Zelda/Sheik: Sucks at poetry. Needs to accept this. Fun to mess with, though. *Amaria Midesha: Healer, apparently, could be useful later. Neutral stamp. *Ani Kerrigan: Bumbling fool of a girl who deserved to get caught in a car bomb. No one should ever be that flippant with their cover. *Karis Needleteeth: Freak with too little skin. Ohgod. *Autonomous Medical Unit 92-XG-3: So much more interesting than UR-86. *Christine Daae: Delusional, moronic, and idealistic. Also young, naive, and a little bit stupid. Hilarious, in a way, but also rather pathetic. Other Stuff thumb|left|300px|This video contains everything you need to know. *[http://jakanddaxter.wikia.com/wiki/Razer Jak and Daxter Wikia Page] *Application *'Cutscenes: ' ✖ Initial Meeting ✖ Proper Introduction ✖ Introducing UR-86 ✖ Interview with Blitz ✖ The Bloody Hook ✖ Coming Out of Retirement And that is his entire canon. Enjoy. Category:Characters Category:Fandom Category:Active